My children recently tried to compliment me by telling me that my cooking skills made my terrible ingredient choices palatable.  Almost.  They then suggested I open my own restaurant, an idea I quickly put to rest.  But they persisted… the 10 year old told me I should just walk around and sell samples for 25 cents.  “Walk around?” I said quizzically.  “Yeah!  You know, like in the parking lot or something!  Like at Walmart!”  I was kind of dumbfounded.  I clarified, “You want me to walk around the Walmart parking lot, selling food, like a Mexican selling tamales?”  The 13 year old quickly chimed in to accuse me of being racist.  I jabbed back by asking him whether he had ever seen a white person selling tamales in the Walmart parking lot.  And, it was the 14 year old who put the issue to bed, by replying, “No, white people sell hot dogs.”  Yes, I laughed hysterically.

I personally would love to see the world lighten up a little about the whole thing.  It seems to me that non-whites are as racist as whites most of the time anyway, just in a different way.  Robb grew up in this very conservative little town, and there was a sign in the window of the laundromat that read, “No Greasers,” and meant, please don’t wash your greasy work clothes here.  Once, though, a Mexican migrant worker asked the owner why he wasn’t allowed to use the laundromat.

Did I ever tell you about my new love, Pinterest?  I’m addicted.  It’s not healthy.  One acquaintance said she thought it was even better than google, because everything that comes up is pretty!  So I’ve been searching for all kinds of fun things.  To convince the 13 year old of the awesomeness of Pinterest, I typed in “Star Wars Lego,” and he oohed and aahed for 20 minutes or so over the Star Wars Lego chess board, and the Star Wars Lego pens and the Star Wars Lego alarm clocks.  There’s something for everyone, there, really.  So today, I typed “racist” into the search box, and found some interesting things.

  • A poster of Michael Scott claiming that Abraham Lincoln said, “If you are a racist, I will attack you with the north.”  (That episode was pretty hilarious, by the way.)
  • A cartoon of a white dog barking at a black dog.
  • A joke about turbans, and “Turban Outfitters.”
  • A “smart” camera, which, after taking a picture of a dozen Asians, asked “Did someone blink?”
Of course, as it went on, there were pictures of actual racists with lots and lots of commentary.  (Yawn)  However, my favorite racist joke of the day comes courtesy of “DamnYouAutocorrect.com.”
 You can’t make this stuff up.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. starvingbitch
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 14:27:04

    That IS fucking awesome!
    I agree, people need to lighted up – INCLUDING THE GAYS!!!! Not being able to use the word “faggot” publicly has been slowly killing me year after year.


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